


Baby Talk

by itsnemily (thorleesi)



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Mentions of Steroline, doorstop baby trope, fluffy trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6126024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorleesi/pseuds/itsnemily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somebody's left a vampire baby on the Salvatore doorstep. </p>
<p>With Stefan off on his honeymoon, Damon is left to his own devices to look after it until he gets home. So he calls Bonnie, who coincidentally, has even less experience with babies than he does.</p>
<p>Shenanigans, fluff, and cuteness ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Doorstop Baby

**Author's Note:**

> this will probably end up being a series of one shots rather than a multi chapter fic, but regardless it will be fluffy bamon trash, enjoy!!

This had to be a practical joke.

The letter was addressed to Stefan. While Damon wasn’t entirely against rifling through his brother’s mail, this piece in particular surely warranted some further investigation. Especially since said brother wouldn’t be home for another few months.

He frowned down at his doorstep.

It smiled right back up at him.

“It” being the small, pudgy, drooling fleshbag strapped into a car seat. Without taking his eyes off the child, he pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled.

“Hey Bon?” he knelt down so the two of them were eye level, “I’m going to need your help with something.”

_Stefan,_

_We’ve never met but we have a few mutual acquaintances. Everyone I’ve come across has spoken very highly of you and I could think of no one better suited to help._

_I came across this child 20 years ago, handed to me much in the same way I am handing her to you. I know little of her origins, her true age or how she turned but she has proven to be a fine companion over the years. I’m going to be frank – as much as I’ve enjoyed being the caretaker of a perpetual 7 month old, I’m done. It’s someone else’s turn._

_I’m confident you will succeed in finding her a suitable home._

_P.S. I was told her name is Mary_

_P.P.S. Be careful – she bites._

“I’m speechless,” Bonnie said after reading the note aloud. Damon poured himself another class of bourbon and shrugged. “And you haven’t heard a thing from Stefan?”

He shook his head. “Radio silence from Ken and Barbie on their dream honeymoon,” he said, sauntering over to the baby, still in her car seat, happily gurgling on the couch.

“So now you’re stuck with a vampire baby,” she said, shaking her own head in disbelief.

“No, now _we’re_ stuck with a vampire baby,” Damon corrected her. “That’s why you’re here, I know you used to babysit the twins for Ric, I thought you could deal with _this_ ,” he gestured to Mary.

“One,” Bonnie pointed out, “I babysat _one_ of the twins while the other had a doctor’s appointment and Caroline wasn’t around.”

Mary started to fidget and squawk unhappily in her seat. Damon eyed her uncomfortably. “Fix it,” he said.

Bonnie was a nurturing soul. She thought kids were cute, she had more than a few younger cousins, and didn’t they just say the darnedest things, but there was a huge gap in her experience in the whole baby department.  

“Should we take her out?” she asked and approached the car seat hesitantly. Damon nodded and stood behind her as she bent down to undo the clasps, as if her body could shield him from the tiny vampire. Bonnie held Mary upright and cradled her against her shoulder, bouncy gently. “There, that’s not so bad,” she said, exchanging looks with Damon who looked mildly impressed.

Mary cooed and gurgled. “I don’t know what I was so- OUCH!” she said, tugging the baby away from her shoulder and the fresh wound Mary’s single tooth created to feed. “She bit me!” Bonnie held her away from her body.

Damon smirked. “The note _did_ warn you,” he said. His grin disappeared after the baby was thrust into his arms. He held here slightly away from him, eyeing her up and down. “What do I do with this?”

The baby’s face crumpled as she began to cry. Bonnie winced. “Maybe she’s hungry?” she suggested.

“Grab one of the blood bags from the freezer,” Damon said loudly over the noise. He made it a point over the years to avoid the small humans entirely for precisely this reason.  

Bonnie returned a few minutes later with one of the twins’ old bottles left there from their visits with Caroline filled with blood. “How do I-” Damon said as they awkwardly tried to maneuver the baby in his arms to feed her. Bonnie put the bottle in the child’s mouth and they both breathed a sigh of relief as she began to suckle. Their victory was short lived when Mary pushed the bottle away and cried louder.

Damon took the bottle from her and tried to force it back in, but the baby pushed it away persistently. He looked up at Bonnie desperately. “How do we make it stop?”

“Maybe it has to be warmed up?” she suggested, vaguely remembering how Caroline used to prepare bottles for Josie and Liz.

The pair took off into the kitchen, screaming child in tow, and Damon tossed the bottle into the microwave triumphantly.

“Wait,” Bonnie said before he could start it. “Is it safe?”

“What?”

“Is it safe to microwave the blood?” Bonnie asked. Damon furrowed his brows and stared at the appliance.

“Who cares,” he finally said.

Bonnie raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not giving a baby radioactive blood.”

Damon rolled his eyes. “ _Fine_. You take her and I’ll get the kettle,” he held the wailing child out for her.

“No way I’m letting that thing eat me again,” Bonnie shook her head. Damon gestured in exasperation to where they kept the kettle and she promptly mimicked how Caroline would get bottles ready for the girls – pouring the hot water in a bowl with the bottle and waiting a couple (agonizing) minutes.

“Caroline checks the temperature on her wrist,” Damon suggested, swaying the baby back and forth in a failed attempt to quiet her. Bonnie tapped the plastic nipple against her skin. The liquid was warm, but didn’t burn so she walked up to Mary, fitfully cradled in Damon’s arms and offered the bottle one more time.

Mary took it hesitantly, and after a moment happily drank her bottle of blood. Damon watched as Bonnie fed the baby in his arms. She smiled down at the new addition to the Salvatore household, relief and silence sweeping the room.

For now, the pair and Mary held an uneasy truce.


	2. Suck it Caroline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon and Bonnie refuse to let the newlyweds return from their honeymoon prematurely - so Caroline calls in reinforcements.

Bonnie sat on the ornate carpet staring at the tiny child giggling up at her between her legs. The baby seemed to be in a good mood (for now) and they’d discovered after feeding Mary for the first time that when she was well fed, she wouldn’t try to feed on Bonnie. Instead, she pulled at Bonnie’s hand and gummed her fingers. Bonnie stared down in disbelief, unsure if she was more worried about getting baby vamp bitten again or that said baby vamp was drooling all over her hand.

Damon walked around the couch after pouring himself a fresh glass of bourbon with a look of disgust on his face. “Gross,” he said, flopping down on the couch.

“You drink blood,” Bonnie pointed out, trying to wrestle her arm from the baby.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, “but I don’t _drool_.”

Before Bonnie could whip out a snarky remark about some of the classy – with a K – women she’s seen him ogle in the past, her phone began to buzz softly into the couch. Damon grabbed it, looked up to say a silent thank you, and tossed it over _just_ missing the baby’s head. They stared wide eyed at the phone buzzing, barely in Bonnie’s grasp above Mary’s head, and wordlessly agreed they wouldn’t tell anyone they almost let an infant get beaned by a brand new smartphone.

“Hey Caroline,” Bonnie answered shakily on speakerphone.

“What happened to it?” Caroline asked, as if she knew exactly what had just happened.

“Everybody’s fine,” she said in an attempt at reassuring all parties involved, “a game of peek-a-boo got a little too intense for Damon.” Damon rolled his eyes.

The pause before Caroline’s response told them she didn’t believe a word Bonnie said. “Look we got all ten thousand of your messages and we’re at the airport now trying to get the quickest flight home,” she said.

Bonnie and Damon shared a relieved glance. “Sorry to ruin your honeymoon Care,” Bonnie apologized, but was certain the newlyweds would make it back to Tahiti sometime in their eternal happily ever after.

“It’s fine Bonnie, we have all the time in the world to go on vacation,” Caroline brushed off, “and like we’d ever leave you and Damon alone with a baby! Can you imagine?” Bonnie and Damon knew they were supposed to be in on the joke, and Caroline fully expected them to laugh with her (and Stefan, who they heard chuckling in the background), but the air in the room immediately changed. Damon sat forward on the couch, suddenly invested in the conversation.

“Are you saying that we, two grown adults, can’t take care of one baby?” Bonnie asked defensively.

“No Bonnie, of course that’s not what-” Caroline paused, “you know what, yes. Yes! That is exactly what I’m saying. Bonnie, do you remember that one time you looked after Liz for two hours? You _hated_ it, and couldn’t wait to hand her back to Ric. And Damon is, well he’s _Damon_. You two are not equipped for long term child care! And frankly I am _very concerned_ about the welfare of this baby!”

They knew Caroline wasn’t wrong. They knew they should let her and Stefan come home and figure out what to do with the baby. They knew they had a _very_ limited knowledge of infants between the two of them.

But they also absolutely hated when they were told they couldn’t do something.

“Don’t bother with the flight home, Sister-in-Law,” Damon piped up.

“Wait, Damon-” Caroline tried to interject.

“Yeah, we can handle this. Go back to the beach, drink a brightly coloured cocktail, and relax. We’ve got this,” Bonnie said firmly. Damon nodded in solidarity. Mary let out a happy squawk.

“Bonnie, I-”

“See you lovebirds in a few months,” Damon waltzed over to Bonnie holding the phone and pressed the ‘End Call’ button. The pair looked at Mary uneasily.

“It’s a baby,” he shrugged. “How hard can this be?”

* * *

 

An hour in the door bell rang. Mary had been almost dropped approximately 3 (and a half) times, bitten Bonnie about 6 times, and lost track of twice (so far) (she was under the Salvatore bar cart – Damon’s opinion of her instantly skyrocketed).

He was holding Mary facing outwards, circling his arm under her armpits with her legs happily kicking and dangling freely when he opened the door.

“I don’t know what I was expecting, but it definitely was not that,” Matt said, concern plastered all over his face. He stood on the boarding house’s doorstep, a box of diapers under one arm and hands full of plastic bags. “I heard from a very distressed Caroline,” he gestured to the contents of the bags.

“Clearly,” Damon stepped aside to let him in the door. Mary kicked and giggled when Matt bent down to make faces at her. “Come on Supernanny, let’s see what you’ve brought us,” he said, leading him into the living room where Bonnie was finishing up putting on _another_ bandaid where Mary got her.

“I got emailed a very detailed list of necessities from Tahiti,” he set the bags down on the couch.

“Wait, why didn’t Caroline just send me the list?” Bonnie asked, digging through them.

“She was pretty adamant that you’ve completely lost your mind,” Matt eyed the many bandaids and tiny bite marks covering Bonnie’s arms, and clearly agreed. Bonnie crossed her arms defensively.

“Right, so we’ve got some clothes, diapers, wipes, change pad, bottles,” he said pulling out items faster than Damon could keep track, “bottle warmer, these soothers might help with the biting, Bon. Uh, I brought my cousin’s kid’s Baby Bjorn-”

“Baby _what_?” Damon interrupted.

Matt held his laughter and explained, “You put in on and strap the baby in – it lets you carry the baby no hands.”

Bonnie picked it up and tried to make heads or tails of how to even put it together. Seemed too complicated – how hard could it be to just carry the baby around?

“It’s upside down,” Matt pointed out and flipped it over in her hands. “Stefan wanted me to remind you about some basinet stored in the basement,” he said to Damon.

“I have a shift soon so I can’t help figure sleeping schedules, but I can help teach you how to change a diaper before I have to go,” Matt offered. Before getting his job at The Grill Matt was Mystic Falls resident babysitter alongside Caroline.

“Nah, Bon Bon’s on diaper duty,” Damon said, waving him out.

“Hold up,” Bonnie objected, “This is _your_ brother’s doorstop baby. _You_ deal with the diapers.”

Matt didn’t hide his mild exasperation well. “Look I have to go, I’d say you’ll figure it out but…I’ll check in after I’m done work,” he shook his head. Bonnie assured him they would be fine and unloaded the rest of the items he brought while Damon shooed him out the door.

“Okay we’re doing this together,” Bonnie pulled the changing pad out and laid it on the floor. “Pass me the kid,” she said. She laid Mary down on the pad in front of her. Mary chewed on her own hand and giggled.

“Diaper,” she instructed, holding out her hand. Damon pulled open the packaging roughly and examined one of them. “Which one’s the front,” he frowned at it.

Bonnie grabbed it from him and flipped it over in her hand. “Elmo’s the front,” she finally surmised. Damon handed her the box of wipes and hovered over her shoulders.

Mary wiggled on the floor uncomfortably and gurgled unhappily as Bonnie tried to undo her onesie. She removed the wet diaper with difficulty and tossed it to Damon.

“Ew!” he yelped, caught off guard, tossing it into the fireplace on reflex.

Bonnie pulled the tabs around Mary’s belly tightly. “There,” she smiled in triumph, pulling the baby up on her feet.

“Looking good pantless wonder,” Damon said to her with a grin.

Mary held onto Bonnie’s fingers and bounced, smiling widely at her new caretakers. On instinct, Bonnie scooped her up in her arms and gently pressed her forehead to the baby’s, who in turn placed her tiny hands on either side of Bonnie’s head.

“We got this don’t we kiddo,” she whispered and Mary laughed brightly in response. Damon and Bonnie exchanged satisfied smiles. Temporary Parenting Guardian Obstacle #1 down.

Suck it Caroline.  


	3. Night Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon convinces Bonnie to stay overnight to help with Mary.

Mary burped happily after finishing another bottle. Damon lifted it from her lips, shaking it slightly to see how much was left, and set it aside sufficiently satisfied the baby was well fed. Purse in hand, Bonnie dug through the bags Matt brought, and under the cushions on the couch searching for her keys.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Damon asked, stretched out on the sofa. Mary sat on his knee, leaning back against his chest happily shaking Bonnie’s car keys in front of her face.

Bonnie raised and eyebrow and looked towards the door. “Home?” she said.

“You wouldn’t be bailing on us, would you Bon Bon?” he frowned dramatically and held Mary up beside his face in an attempt to endear Bonnie into staying.

She rolled her eyes and stepped over to where Damon was sitting and reached for the keys in Mary’s pudgy hands. Mary pulled them away and gave an unhappy squawk, and _wailed_ when Bonnie finally maneuvered them out of her tight grasp.

“Aww, see Mary wants you to stay too,” Damon held the screaming baby out to her. “One night? For her?”

Bonnie narrowed her eyes at him, but scooped Mary up into her arms and handed her keys over reluctantly. The baby accepted them back happily, moving on to gnawing them. Bonnie pulled a disgusted face while Damon smirked.

Damon went to find the bassinet buried deep in Salvatore storage, leaving Bonnie to dress Mary in her pajamas. She brought the baby up to Damon’s room and laid her out on the bed. After a few tries, she got the footie pajamas upright, buttons completely undone and laid on the comforter beside Mary. Now all she had to do was get the baby _in_ them.

Easier said than done. Mary giggled and laughed, turning crawling away from Bonnie into a game. Anytime an arm got squished in, a foot popped out. For a miraculous moment she thought she had won, until she realized every single button was one off and she had to undo them and start. All. Over. Again.

Mary wiggled out of her grasp once again and Bonnie lunged across the bed to pull Mary back over. She laughed loudly as she slid back to the edge of the bed and Bonnie couldn’t help but join in. Eventually all limbs were in, and as she clipped all the buttons up over the baby’s tummy she blew a loud raspberry on her belly. Mary giggled and kicked and crawled away to sit by the pillows.

Bonnie ran a surprisingly tired hand through her hair and watched as the baby rolled around drooling on Damon’s pillows.

He appeared moments later placing an ornate bassinet in the doorway. “I can put you two in the room next door,” Damon offered, and picked up Mary’s bed again.

Bonnie crossed her arms. “Wait, why do _I_ get the overnight shift?”

“Because you’re the-”

“Damon, I swear to God if you say woman, I’ll-”

“- _human_ ,” he finished. “You’re like, a living breathing blood bottle.”

She shook her head. “No way, she’s your responsibility. _You_ do the overnight feedings,” Bonnie squared her shoulders, ready for him to argue.

Damon pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes, gears turning in his head trying to think of a way out of this. “Fine,” he finally said, rubbing his hands together, “sleep in here. We’ll take turns – deal?”

“Fine,” Bonnie agreed reluctantly. She dug through the nearest dresser and pulled out one of Damon’s shirts to sleep in.

“I might still have something of Elena’s you could borrow,” Damon offered.

Bonnie shrugged. “This works,” she said and motioned for Damon to turn around while she pulled his shirt on. He pulled the bassinet in the room and dragged it around to Bonnie’s side of the bed. She raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged innocently.

She coaxed an increasingly sleepy looking Mary back over to the side of the bed and pulled her up into her arms. Mary laid a sleepy head on Bonnie’s shoulder and grasped a fist of Damon’s shirt into her tiny hand. Bonnie swayed gently and Mary’s breathing slowed.

Damon flipped through a book on his side of the bed absent mindedly, watching the pair out of the corner of his eyes.

“Is she asleep?” Bonnie mouthed, the words coming out barely more than a whisper. He nodded, a careful smile spread across his face as he watched Bonnie gently lay the baby down in the bassinet, and tenderly tuck a wisp of hair behind her ear.

Bonnie climbed into her side of the bed and he promptly offered a silent air high five before turning off the light and sliding under the covers. It was the first time since the 1994 prison world that they’d shared a bed, but Damon quickly discovered Bonnie was still a notorious blanket hog.

It started a few hours later with soft whimpers coming from where Mary slept. Bonnie’s eyes slowly fluttered open and adjusted to her surroundings. She could see the baby sitting up, her shape silhouetted by the moonlight shining through the windows. As if Mary could sense she was awake, she started crying miserably.

Bonnie nudged the deadweight beside her that was a sleeping Damon. He muttered something and rolled over. Bonnie glared at his shape in the darkness and elbowed him harder in his ribs. Damon groaned.

“You’re up first,” she tried to push him off the bed with no success. Without opening his eyes, he pushed her off him and mumbled something that sounded a lot like “bite me”, but it was hard to tell over Mary’s increasingly loud crying.

Fed up, Bonnie burst a couple aneurysms. That got his attention.

“What the hell, Bonnie?” he sat up clutching his head.

“Bottle,” she instructed, her voice still rough from sleep.

Damon groaned again. Instead of walking downstairs to heat up some blood in the bottle warmer he leaned across the bed, reaching for the bassinet. His weight pressed against Bonnie, pinning her to the bed as he dragged Mary beside them. She made to smack him to get him off of her, but Damon caught her hand by the wrist and grasped it gently, but firm. Her breath hitched.

Damon watched her stare up at him as he let go. He rolled off of her back to his side, and curled his arm around the pillow. “Stick your arm in the crib,” he mumbled, already half asleep.

Bonnie weighed her options, but her tiredness won out and she tentatively offered Mary the arm that was previously hanging over the side of the bed. She winced as the vampire’s teeth broke her skin, but laid her head back down as Mary began to suckle from her wrist. The baby drank until she fell back asleep, and Bonnie deftly slipped her arm out of her grasp careful not to wake her. She drifted off shortly after.

Bonnie woke up entirely too early judging by the dim sun light shining through the windows of Damon’s bedroom. She sat up and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand.

“Morning sunshine,” Damon greeted, and flipped the page of a book propped up by his knees. In his other arm Mary was cradled soundly drinking from an actual bottle. Damon reached over with his free hand and lifted a mug from the bedside table over the book and baby’s head, offering it to Bonnie wordlessly.

She cupped it in both hands and inhaled the scent of the fragrant tea. “Thanks,” she smiled gratefully and took a sip. Bonnie leaned her head against the headboard sleepily. “I didn’t even hear her wake up,” she reached over and tickled one of Mary’s feet. Mary kicked her hand away gleefully.

Damon shrugged and flipped another page. “You were up with her last night, I thought I’d take the morning shift,” he said, “I can go get breakfast started if you’d like.”

Bonnie took another sip of her tea and shook her head. “I’m not ready to be up yet,” she curled up beside him clutching her mug and reading over his shoulder. Mary pushed her bottle out of her mouth indicating she was done, and crawled over to Bonnie, nestling herself in both her caretakers’ grasps.

Bonnie stroked Mary’s hair absentmindedly as Damon began reading aloud from his book to the two of them for the rest of the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really enjoying writing these!! I don't generally go for fluff but here we are. I have a list of ideas for a few more chapters but if you have any prompts you'd like to see hit up the comments or my tumblr askbox (url nemily)!! I'll give you a s/o on my blog and here if I end up using your idea - hope you enjoyed!


	4. Baby Proofing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonnie leaves Damon alone for the afternoon and Mary spends some time in baby jail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the guest on ff.net who left the kissing prompt in their review! Feel free to leave more, or send me one on tumblr (nemily) and I'll try to incorporate them! Enjoy~

One night turned into three, and the trio fell into routine. Bonnie took care of bedtimes and night feedings, and Damon took the early morning shift, getting Mary her morning bottles and making breakfast. Bonnie was still sleeping in Damon's bed, neither of them could be bothered to get her situated in one of the guest rooms.

She walked into the kitchen, in another one of Damon's shirts and a spare pair of his boxers, grinning widely at the fresh pot of coffee sitting on the counter. Mary sat in a high chair at the table, playing with a sippy cup, and Damon stood at the stove carefully flipping an omelette.

Damon pointed his spatula to the table. "Sit," he instructed. "It's almost ready."

Bonnie helped herself to a mug and filled it to the top-Mary was up about six times that night-before joining the baby. Mary reached for her, gurgling happily, and she pulled her out of the high chair, sitting her in her lap. Mary picked up the spoon that was laid out in her chubby fist, and waved it around gleefully.

Damon plated their breakfast and sat across from the girls. "I need to go home to get some of my own clothes," Bonnie announced between dodging Mary's swinging spoon and keeping her breakfast just out of reach of the baby.

She watched his face blanche at the thought of having the baby to himself, and stifled a laugh. Since Mary arrived at the Salvatore house, they'd approached her as a team. Neither of them were responsible for her on their own without the other a few rooms and a shout away before.

He shrugged it off. "We'll be fine, right, kid?" Mary tossed the spoon, and laughed as it clattered noisily to the floor.

Finished with their breakfast, Bonnie gathered their empty plates and left them in the sink. "I'll be back in a hour or so, are you sure you'll be okay?"

Holding Mary facing outwards, Damon nodded. "I can handle it," he assured her. Everything that could go wrong flashed before Bonnie's eyes, but she shook them out of her head quickly.

"Okay," she said. Grabbing another mug of coffee before getting changed, she kissed Mary's forehead.

"Where's mine?" Damon asked with a smirk. Bonnie rolled her eyes and landed a gentle peck on his cheek, which startled the grin off his face real quick. She disappeared upstairs to get changed, and left to pick things up from her own place.

Damon turned his gaze down to Mary. "So what are we going to do?"

Bonnie shifted her duffle bag onto her shoulder, satisfied she packed enough to last for a few weeks and walked back to the car. Feeling her phone buzzing in her pocket, she pulled it out and answered.

"Hey Care," she greeted. "How's the honeymoon?"

" _It's amazing! We're having such a good time."_ Caroline's voiced gushed from the other end. " _I just wanted to check in. How are you guys doing?"_

Bonnie felt a smile spread across her face thinking of the last few days. "Things are great. Everything's… great." Her heart swelled.

" _Good! So baby proofing the house went well?"_ And just like that the smile vanished. Baby proofing?

"Uh, yeah. Yes! The house is totally proofed, baby wise. We… did that." The words fell out of Bonnie's mouth as quick as she could form them.

" _Oh thank God. Honestly, that house is such a death trap for a baby."_

Bonnie laughed stiffly, anxiety suddenly spreading through her chest thinking about Damon and Mary alone in the Salvatore house. "Yeah… look so I'm just doing some errands. I've gotta go. Love you, bye!"

She hung up, quickly pulling up Damon's number and called. " _Afternoon, Bon Bon,"_ he answered.

"Is she alright?" Bonnie asked.

" _Mary? Yeah she's fine. She's, um, she was right here. Hold on."_ Her eyes widened in horror as she heard him pull the the phone away from his ear to look for the baby. " _Here she is. She was just playing in the fireplace."_

Bonnie stiffened, thinking of every single way Mary could have been hurt. "Damon, we never baby proofed the house. We have to baby proof the house," she said anxiously. "Mary could get hurt and it will be all our fault. We are horrible temporary guardians. Caroline was right, what are we supposed to do with a _baby_ -"

" _Bonnie, you're spiralling. Mary is a vampire. Nothing can happen to her,"_ Damon interrupted and Bonnie inhaled deeply, catching her breath. " _And I never want to hear the words 'Caroline was right' come out of your mouth ever again,"_ he added, thankful Bonnie couldn't see him prying the fire poker out of Mary's fat baby fists.

"Just because she can heal doesn't mean we should let her get hurt in the first place." Bonnie told him, but the fear in her chest settled immensely at the reminder. "I'm stopping by the hardware store to pick things up for the house. Don't let her out of your sight until I get home, okay?"

" _Deal,"_ he agreed, and they ended the call. "Alright Mary, no more scaring Bon-" Damon said and looked down at his feet to see the mischievous baby had crawled away. Swearing to himself, he set off looking for her. Again.

Bonnie returned an hour later with several bags filled with contraptions to keep Mary away from all the dangerous things in the house. She walked into the living room to drop the bags on the couch and found Mary sitting upright on the floor, surrounded by stacks and stacks of pillows.

"Baby jail. Inescapable." Damon beamed at his work. Mary knocked over one of the towers gleefully, crawling over to Bonnie, who raised an unconvinced eyebrow in his direction. "...A work in progress," Damon admitted.

"I'm going to put Mary down for her nap. Can you get started on that?" Bonnie gestured to the bags on the couch. Damon dug through them, pulling a few out, staring at them quizzically.

"Did you pick out 7 of everything?" He asked, checking all the other bags.

"... Maybe." She said, adjusting Mary on her hip, before defensively adding, "I wasn't sure what we'd need! I panicked."

"Do we even have this many cabinets?" He teased, counting the magnetized cupboard locks out loud.

Bonnie rolled her eyes, picking a bag from the couch. "I'll take care of upstairs while she's napping. You do down here," she instructed, but when she got to the top of the stairs she yelled back to him. "Clear the toys away from the stairs too! Somebody's going to trip on them."

Two hours, one nap, and a baby proofed house later, Bonnie was lounging on the bed with Mary sitting on her stomach, leaning back against her knees.

"Done," Damon announced, appearing in the doorway.

Bonnie clapped Mary's hands together with an enthusiastic "Yay!", causing the baby to erupt into giggles. "Did you get the toys from the stairs?"

"It's just a few blocks, Bon. We've both been walking past them all day. They're fine," he said. Bonnie pulled a face making her disagreement clear, but didn't say anything. "They're _fine._ I'm going to make her a bottle." Damon gestured to Mary, and disappeared into the hallway again.

Exactly 4.5 seconds later, Bonnie heard crashing coming from the stairs and a very unhappy, elongated, groan coming from Damon, who, presumably, was currently lying at the bottom of the steps amid several letter blocks.

Mary clapped her hands together bursting with laughter once more, and Bonnie couldn't help but join in.


End file.
